|Lucas Fuse Replacements|
I now see that my relationship with my Bentley -- which doesn't have a name and I am not sure I should give it one -- is going to be more complex than I had thought, or at least hoped.
I drove it at lunchtime today. It was purring away perfectly. The person I was dropping in on was not there. I had turned the car off, and a minute later I was turning it on again.
Nothing happened. There was an electrical clicking sound, like a solenoid or something. But nothing else. I tried several times. I even remembered that the car has a switch in the trunk to turn the battery on and off. I flipped the switch off, then on. Still nothing.
I had to call the office to ask the long-suffering Shirley to come and get me in my distress and shame.
A few seconds later I tried again and it fired into life.
Ah, the work of Lucas, Prince of Darkness.
From a website devoted to the Prince's achievements:
- The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
- Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
- Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
- Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
- The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
- The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
- Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
- Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
- "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
- If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
- A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...
- Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
- Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
- Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
- Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."
I still love the car. But I have a feeling it isn't always going to be easy!